SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - There were no fist pumps for Tiger Woods, just a deep breath and a slow exhale. Jim Furyk walked most of the 7,170 yards at Olympic Club with his head down. David Toms couldn't think of a single shot he hit without his full attention Friday.
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Like most potential foster/adoptive parents, Amanda and I were excited about being a refuge for parentless kids . My great grandmother Ford was a foster mom to 35+ children throughout her life, and my own mother did day care in our home growing up, so the thought of chaos within the house, naptimes around noon, and diaper-filled garbage bags piling up at the door was somewhat comforting to me. It was in my blood.
For the most part we did our research and developed many clear expectations so that we were not walking into a nightmare of na?ve proportions. Yet like most transitions we were still blindsided by few things.
Here are 3 things that the system and training sessions might not tell you about Fostering and Adoption.
1) I?m a monster (and so are you!)
Prior to our adoptive/foster care children coming into our home, most would have given me a pat on the back when watching my fathering techniques. I extended serious love, compassion, and thoroughly enjoyed my 2 boys. However, once new kids entered the equation with values I didn?t shape, culture that I did not cultivate, and a morality that I did not help make, it often became maddening.
The impatience and anger I find myself having because of my lack of control quickly points to my inadequacies not just as a father, but as a follower of Christ.
Jesus talks about His yoke being easy and His burden being light, yet with every new rule and mandate I declare it begins to feel like all I?m doing is trying to quickly mold and make a kid fit a profile they will potentially never fit, giving them heavy and hard expectations if they truly want to belong. Not only do I catch myself being a bad father, but also reflecting a bad Father (in heaven) as well. When new kids come, get ready to acquire a whole new set of parenting techniques and a whole new level of grace. It sucks to realize that you suck, but it sets us up beautifully for the brilliant sweeping grace of God.
2) I?m not the system?s priority
We realized quickly that the foster care system has a clear priority, and it is not you or your family. The system?s priority is placing foster children in a safe home that will best benefit them. This is very different than, placing the child in a safe home that is best for them and is equally beneficial for the family. (This isn?t mean to demean or discredit hard working case workers in an overwhelming system.) The reality is that these caseworkers cannot seriously study all existing family members prior to placement and place as much priority on you and your existing children as they do on the one they are trying to place. They have to be resiliently focused on the placement of the one, and as a father or mother of an already existing family, this is important information to know, especially when we think the system is the entity with all of the answers and necessary direction for us as we move through uncharted territory. No matter how good the system is and how caring your caseworker may be, your existing family is not their number one priority.
3) Your kids may be closer to the Kingdom than you think. (Learn from them)
As immature and impatient as I can get with our foster/adoptive children, I have been blown away by how flexible, how loving, understanding, and patient our 4 and 3 year old boys have been. As our adoptive children often become the focus of our family because of the extra care needed, and as ?Daddy dates? diminish, now dispersed among more children, my biological babies continue to show something supernatural. They show a love and patience for people, a simple, yet deep understanding of Justice, and a desire for self-sacrifice that often decreases as we grow older and more jaded. There is a spiritual capacity in a kid that is somewhat baffling. It is why the gospel of Mark says, ?unless you become like a child you will not inherit the kingdom.?
As you aim for clear expectations, hopefully you will add the above to your list. We will never have them all, but as we are blindsided by a new reality, know that the one whose plan has always been to adopt us into Hs family (Ephesians 1) has gone before you and is on your side.
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Duo spotted on Nashville set of Jake Nava-directed clip, which will debut later this month.
By James Dinh
B.o.B and Taylor Swift on the set of "Both of Us"
Photo:
B.o.B and Taylor Swift are an unlikely musical duo, but that doesn't mean they don't have anything in common. On Thursday (June 14), Bobby Ray and Swift paid tribute to their country roots on the Nashville video set for their summery sweet duet, "Both of Us."
The Jake Nava-directed clip (Beyoncé's "Single Ladies," Kanye West's "Monster") will feature scenes of the duo together and apart. While one photo shows the chart-toppers lounging in wooden chairs on the lawn, other shots depict their solo scenes, with Swift comfortable in a field of flowers and B.o.B sitting tight in a red-lit bar. Good chemistry was all over the video set, as the T.I. protégé and video director shook hands in an old house in another candid shot.
B.o.B tweeted about the video, sharing a photo and release-date time frame. "On the set of the #BothOfUs music video in Nashville with @taylorswift13. Video premieres end of June!"
"Both of Us," the latest single from B.o.B's sophomore LP, Strange Clouds, is the result of Swift reaching out to the rapper. According to B.o.B, the country/pop songstress "came to Atlanta and she hit up Grand Hustle. I wasn't there. Tip was there, and I eventually linked with her in Dallas, and the rest is history."
In addition to his visual with T-Swizzle, B.o.B has another upcoming collaborative project in the works: an album with Grand Hustle CEO T.I. During a recent visit to "RapFix Live," the MC explained, "We got my album out, Strange Clouds, and he's about to drop Trouble Man very soon, so once we get that out the way, then we'll have time to really focus even more attentively to the Man and the Martian project."
Are you excited to see the "Both of Us" video? Share your comments below!
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60-Second Science |
More Science
Rodents feeding on sweet mignonette love the fruit, but dislike the spicy seeds. So they spit them out, thereby dispersing them--to the plant's benefit. Karen Hopkin reports
June 14, 2012
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How does a Venus flytrap know when to snap shut? Can it actually feel an insect?s tiny, spindly legs? And how do cherry blossoms know when to bloom? Can they...
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Plants that use animals to disperse their seeds can find themselves in a pickle. They need to make fruit tasty enough to entice the local fauna. But they also need to make sure that their animal assistants don?t digest the very seeds they?re meant to spread.
In Israel?s Negev Desert, a plant called sweet mignonette came up with a distasteful strategy. Critters called spiny mice feed on mignonette. They love the fruit. But they hate the seeds. And so they spit them out all over the place. Just as the plant planned. That?s according to a study in the journal Current Biology. [Michal Samuni-Blank et al.,"Intraspecific Directed Deterrence by the Mustard Oil Bomb in a Desert Plant"]
Sweet mignonette produces little black berries that house about 20 seeds apiece. Inside those seeds is an enzyme. When a berry-chomping mouse crushes a seed, the enzyme is freed up to produce compounds that taste like hot mustard. Hence, ptooey, better leaving through chemistry.
Researchers armed with video cameras observed the mice spitting the pits like kids eating watermelon on a summer day. Nearly three-quarters of the spit-soaked seeds landed intact?and they actually germinated twice as fast as seeds taken directly from the fruit itself. It?s like a Dickens book: Great Expectorations.
?Karen Hopkin
[The above text is an exact transcript of this podcast.]
?
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ScienceDaily (June 13, 2012) ? With their potential to treat a wide range of diseases and uncover fundamental processes that lead to those diseases, embryonic stem (ES) cells hold great promise for biomedical science. A number of hurdles, both scientific and non-scientific, however, have precluded scientists from reaching the holy grail of using these special cells to treat heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer's and other diseases.
In a paper published June 13 in Nature, scientists at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies report discovering that ES cells cycle in and out of a "magical state" in the early stages of embryo development, during which a battery of genes essential for cell potency (the ability of a generic cell to differentiate, or develop, into a cell with specialized functions) is activated. This unique condition, called totipotency, gives ES cells their unique ability to turn into any cell type in the body, thus making them attractive therapeutic targets.
"These findings," says senior author Samuel L. Pfaff, a professor in Salk's Gene Expression Laboratory, "give new insight into the network of genes important to the developmental potential of cells. We've identified a mechanism that resets embryonic stem cells to a more youthful state, where they are more plastic and therefore potentially more useful in therapeutics against disease, injury and aging."
ES cells are like silly putty that can be induced, under the right circumstances, to become specialized cells-for example, skin cells or pancreatic cells-in the body. In the initial stages of development, when an embryo contains as few as five to eight cells, the stem cells are totipotent and can develop into any cell type. After three to five days, the embryo develops into a ball of cells called a blastocyst. At this stage, the stem cells are pluripotent, meaning they can develop into almost any cell type. In order for cells to differentiate, specific genes within the cells must be turned on.
Pfaff and his colleagues performed RNA sequencing (a new technology derived from genome-sequencing to monitor what genes are active) on immature mouse egg cells, called oocytes, and two-cell-stage embryos to identify genes that are turned on just prior to and immediately following fertilization. Pfaff's team discovered a sequence of genes tied to this privileged state of totipotency and noticed that the genes were activated by retroviruses adjacent to the stem cells.
Nearly 8 percent of the human genome is made up of ancient relics of viral infections that occurred in our ancestors, which have been passed from generation to generation but are unable to produce infections. Pfaff and his collaborators found that cells have used some of these viruses as a tool to regulate the on-off switches for their own genes. "Evolution has said, 'We'll make lemonade out of lemons, and use these viruses to our advantage,'" Pfaff says. Using the remains of ancient viruses to turn on hundreds of genes at a specific moment of time in early embryo development gives cells the ability to turn into any type of tissue in the body.
From their observations, the Salk scientists say these viruses are very tightly controlled-they don't know why-and active only during a short window during embryonic development. The researchers identified ES cells in early embryogenesis and then further developed the embryos and cultured them in a laboratory dish. They found that a rare group of special ES cells activated the viral genes, distinguishing them from other ES cells in the dish. By using the retroviruses to their advantage, Pfaff says, these rare cells reverted to a more plastic, youthful state and thus had greater developmental potential.
Pfaff's team also discovered that nearly all ES cells cycle in and out of this privileged form, a feature of ES cells that has been underappreciated by the scientific community, says first author Todd S. Macfarlan, a former postdoctoral researcher in Pfaff's lab who recently accepted a faculty position at the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. "If this cycle is prevented from happening," he says, "the full range of cell potential seems to be limited."
It is too early to tell if this "magical state" is an opportune time to harvest ES cells for therapeutic purposes. But, Pfaff adds, by forcing cells into this privileged status, scientists might be able to identify genes to assist in expanding the types of tissue that can be produced.
"There's tremendous hype over the practical applications of embryonic stem cells in clinical situations," he says. "The struggle in labs throughout the world is that the smallest changes in environmental conditions could subtly and unpredictably have an effect on these cells. So, the more we know about the basic requirements needed for these cells to be able to generate a full range of tissue types, the better off we'll be." While the findings shed light on the basic biology of embryonic stem cells, Pfaff says there is still a "long way to go" in terms of their practical, clinical value.
Other researchers on the study were Wesley D. Gifford, Shawn Driscoll, Karen Lettieri, Dario Bonanomi, Amy Firth, and Oded Singer, from the Salk Institute; and Helen M. Rowe and Didier Trono of Ecole Polytechnique Federale de Lausanne in Switzerland.
The work was supported by the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (R37NS037116), the Howard Hughes Medical Institute and the Marshall Heritage Foundation.
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